Sunday, July 20, 2003

Forgot to mention, my brother will be bringing the computer to his hostel tonight, so I will be living without a computer for about a month. So perhaps there will be few or no updates of this blog. Sorry for any inconvenience caused :)

How come scholars get the chance to go to seminars and scholarship day or some other things. So good...

Yesterday was a very fruitful day for me... At least I get to do lots of things. So early in the morning I went to school to do my tutorials again, then went NJC for their funfair, then go Zhenghua tuition, then finally our Queenstown RC block party... NJC funfair looks nice, but too bad no money, $10 coupon very fast went down their pockets after 20 min...

Then Weiming called me and kao-bei me because I will be late for the RC due to the tuition. But I got there there wasn't much for me to do anyway, except to type out the rules and scoring, and to try out the game. Whoa, the game requires a lot of technique! Then many people couldn't score much. But after the break many people know how to play suddenly. Argh... Begin to give out prizes... Anyway the prizes are cheap cheap ones. I like the Rubik's Cube. So nice to play.

There isn't very much happening recently that requires me to mention. So Ms Yeo in the canteen and crap with her for a while... Why is she always so free?

Friday, July 18, 2003

Yeah... Feeling very excited now, going to watch another episode of The Amazing Race later... And I got my new specs today!!! can see the words on the screen now, no need to strain my eyes liao.

But feeling damn tired leh... because I have 2 consecutive 7pm long days? A lot of tutorials piling up? Nvm... tomorrow will be a long day as well...

Thursday, July 17, 2003

Apologies for not being able to appear at the RC today, because I really cannot go.

I saw Peng Kiat's post on his blog that his mother complained about his results. Hmmm... I must say that my mother also complained about my results, saying how I will not be able to get my scholarship. She said that I can get a scholarship... She keeps stating that it is optional... But she always quotes my relatives and her friend whose RJC son is so muggish... and I hate that she always compares my results with her son, because of the influence that his mother always calls to ask about my progress. AND THAT IS SO IRRITATING!!! WHAT HAS MY RESULTS GOT TO DO WITH HER BLOODY SON'S RESULTS? CAN'T SHE JUST KEEP HER OWN FOCUS ON HER SON!!! AAAAAACCCCKKKKK!!! And then there is my cousin's 2 cousins who are PSC scholars, and my mother keeps saying how good it is because the scholarship provides home allowances for the family members... I know it is good but it is really very difficult to get that scholarship... I'm striving hard...

And Weiyan called me for 30 minutes to grumble to me about his worries... He has not handed up his Chem Olympiad assignment and scared he will be kicked out of the Chem Olympiad team. I understand how he feels as all his hard work and intelligence can be wasted due to a stupid mistake, but he seems to be worrying really hard because perhaps this is the first time he commits such a stupid mistake. Then he went on to grumble about his failures in school, like failure to get into council or get a scholarship, but focus on how others should not get the scholarship and the results are all that matters. Haiz... Why must he always complain about others doing so well in the area he doesn't? Must he always be the best?

And project work sucks I must say. It requires so much focus and you can't really learn anything from it. Perhaps this is because we have gone through IRS and Projects Day in our secondary school. And that takes up 10% of your A Level score. Can someone please enlighten MOE not to give projects that have such rigid format and criteria, such that there are so much restrictions caused?

Oh yah... Weiyan also commented that my F Maths deteriorated from my secondary Maths. I tried to explain but in vain. Maybe because nobody studied F Maths like I do. It is a really different topic from secondary school Maths where there are a lot of applications. So that means there really can be many theorems learnt in that topic but only one theorem will apply, and you have to find that theorem. It is quite similar as Olympiad Maths, but of course they are different topics. Major difference lies in the absence of calculus in Olympiad Maths. I will work hard lah, but don't forget it is F Maths, where the obsoletion of the S Paper proves that it is much more technical and difficult than Biology. It is really not the usual "learn and answer" secondary school type of questions. Show me you can get a high A for your Maths C for promos. Hehe.

Ahh.... This reminds of that integration again. We went on to applications of integration today, and guess what? The notes are 24 pages thick!!! Wow. We need to grasp them before 31 July, when we have our lecture test solely on methods and applications of integration. Grr... Mdm Yeo just wow-ed us with a 2-page solution to a part of a question, and commented, "you have 3 hours to the paper, so you have more to write than these solutions." Nothing to say...

Oh man... after reading my friend's blogs, all was commenting about the annual track and field meet, while I was sleeping... When I got back home at 5pm, I got real dead tired and started sleeping UNTIL NOW!! which is about 5am, when I need to prepare for school already. Really apologise for that... But I also don't know why I got so tired, because I planned to finish my tutorials that afternoon, now become yi4 shi4 wu2 cheng2 liao. Sigh... Anyway it is somewhat neutral when hearing that Chinese High got the 2 golds again, because they always zhao1 lan3 the sports talents into the school, but I still feel happy anyway. However, I'm sure they feel damn excited upon winning because it is the first time they win under.... not in the presence of ... I'm sure they will have a longer break (I think). Still happy for them lah. And well, Perhaps Hwa Chong can try again next year, where we will win reclaim the 2 championships again. I guess I have to go and prepare to go to school liao, feeling energetic :) Oops, seems very niao. Apologies again.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Mugging needs a lot of physical strength and mental strength... Countdown to untouched tutorials: 23... I suddenly realise I couldn't commit that much into the Queentown RC CIP, unlike Weiyan, because it always clashes with my commitments. I don't have much commitments, but they are important ones, so I couldn't afford to waste them. But I think I will plan my time carefully in the holidays so that my olympiad training, my CIP and my enrichment activities won't clash. And I should also have some free time, for a holiday to go to Malaysia to get out of the hectic and filthy lifestyle of Singapore. A rather clean and quiet place beside the sea I must say, with a lot of fishes and seafood. It will soothe my soul, in between the moemnts of studying. At least it will be an enjoyable one. Hmmm... maybe you all would also like to come with me? If there is such a trip organised though.

I find CIP quite enriching, especially as you get to know more about yourself as you do something for others. Can't really specify, and I don't even know I would really know more about myself, but it is a different kind of feeling when you accomplish it, than that of completing work that will give you results. It is another type of accomplishment. So I guess I would have the tendency to do CIPs rather than school work. But I thought that one should not be too indulged because I think Singapore still looks at results more than any other things. Meritocratic society what...

I guess I have to set a deadline for completing my tutorials... because I cannot let them pile up, as the photocopying fees will be wasted, and the money is mine!! So I will complete them maybe after a month, or before the promos.

Monday, July 14, 2003

Ok... Tomorrow must hand in tutorial A14 and discuss tutorial A15... Tomorrow must discuss tutorials 8G and prepare for complex numbers... Tomorrow we will start on organic chemistry... Tomorrow we will finish discuss First Law of Thermodynamics and going on to oscillations... Tomorrow.... Tomorrow... Endless tomorrows with more new things to proceed on. Looks like it is an inevitable fact that we will be facing a stressful and hectic life in JC. I must say that all these feelings arose at the start of the year, just that there is a new channel for me shout it out now.

Sunday, July 13, 2003

Haiz... Not a very eventful day... Went to Woodlands and did the usual things... Going to the library and arcade... Peng Kiat borrowed 3 books, but I doubt he will finish or even read them. Last time I went library with him I mistook his book, then he told me to help him return because he would not have the time to read the book anyway. Gao xiao loh.

Arcade seems to take up a lot of time today leh... Don't know why. Perhaps we took time to play the basketball instead of playing the poker game. Haha.. Peng Kiat got 100 tickets on the first try for the slamming game. They change the table for the table hockey... and the pickel just moves damn fast!!! Can't even catch up with the movement and ended up commit suicide a lot of times. Same thing goes as usual when our pickel fly to nowhere... use too much strength liao... so fun... but the price doubles to $1.80. So we only had one game. And the table also quite cool. But I decided not to go arcade or anything else for the rest of the month. No money, and must concentrate on my work already. But sad thing is I forgot to bring my tickets to exchange today. Haiz...

I realise Woodlands and Tampines Library actually have more resources than any other libraries in Singapore, perhaps because they are regional libraries. Jurong East may upgrade to be another one. But those books found in the reference section of Tampines always seem to appear in the common section of Woodlands, and vice versa, and now all my PW resources are in Tampines Reference, so that means I need to make a trip down to Woodlands every time I need to get the book. Now that I photocopied the relevant pages I don't need to go down anymore. Yeah...

It is another school week starting from tomorrow... Another week for mugging and doing tutorials...

Saturday, July 12, 2003

Grrrr... I went to school today to do my homework. So hardworking... why? Because I still owe some 20 over tutorials, which I must finish doing. Then my friend came over and chat with me. He told me that those in the chemistry olympiad team will be kicked out if they are not in the top 30. Perhaps all must get A... or maybe B... C still got a chance... But I got an E!!! No chance liao... I definitely get kicked out of the team. Sigh... Waves of problems come after another... When will it stop?

One interesting point to note is that after going for the tuition I slept on 67 from Choa Chu Kang all the way to Tampines. And I'm still grabbing my worksheet that I got from the Zhenghua tuition. It must be due to the many hours of sleep debt I have accumulated from previous weeks. Days of fluctuating moments. But mostly bad. I actually missed the POP in school. Argh....

My friends actually commented that my tone when giving tuition is very cocky "xiao1 zhang1"... This is what happened: He told them that I am from Maths Olympiad and asked them to ask me. Then I said "Olympiad nothing one lah". He said this will demoralise the students. It is yu3 dai4 shuang1 guan1 loh!!! Basically I believe they misinterpret my sentence, in which I originally mean being in the olympiad is nothing to be proud of. They may interpret it as olympiad is too easy for me, and they did lousier than me, so they should feel zi4 bei1 or something like that lah, which has a negative connotation... I felt bad loh. Then there was another similar incident... I only said those words jokingly... So that is why I always remember people's words and don't remember what I said to people. I think I will need to think before I speak next time.

Friday, July 11, 2003

I just heard from my parents that my lens actually cost $70. That sucks. I never thought that it will be so expensive. But it appears very cheap to me leh, because i got 1050 degrees myopia, 200 degrees shan3 guang1 and the lens are made extra thin. Total cost comes up to $200, which means the frame is $60, which is really very cheap. Compare this with 900 degrees myopia, 200 degrees shan3 guang1, and the whole specs cost just $70. Hmmm... somebody in econs please tell me why the inflation is so high?

I met Wei Yan today. The first thing he says is that he didn't perform well in physics. A1 leh!!! And he dare says his physics sux. Now when I say he is really qian bian he smiled at me. REALLY QIAN BIAN LOH! Analysis shows that this type of behaviour reflects 2 things. It is either he is just joking at me, or the second one, which is more accurate, is that this type of person is insensitive to others and just cares about himself. I don't want to talk so much on this, or else my anger will rise again. Basically he just has low EQ. I don't want to talk about his character further as I can do nothing about it. Just my half cents comments.

Another thing I must raise up is the issue on CIP. Why is everybody suddenly so interested in CIP that I see very much enthusiasm in them trying to organize Service Learning projects? Because there are PEARLS points awarded!!! When I tell a person that his SL project is going to earn him only 4 CIP hours, his reaction was just very stunned, and his response was "WHAT!? ONLY 4 HOURS!?" of course I was joking with him but I never expected the response to be so big. Obviously he wants to achieve more CIP hours than this? Why are people so practical today ah? Sigh...

One last thing I am going to rant about is my stupid little kid at home, who is getting more and more wu2 fa3 wu2 tian1. Just one sentence: Once he has made us angry to out top, my father will chase him away immediately.

I'm going to watch my Amazing Race.

Kaoz!!! I broke my lenses today while wiping my specs just because the lenses became loose, and ended up wearing my old specs with 100 deg less, such that I cannot see anything during the lecture. Luckily it is Tommy's lecture which has minimal copying. If not I die liao.

Yeah... Finally, I have received all 4 results. So final score: A D E E ARGH!!! WHY MY RESULTS SUDDENLY TURNS HALF ABOUT AND AND FELL THOUSAND FEET?!?!?! It is so agonising loh. I cannot complain about F Maths because most people around me failed theirs, but what about the others? People start to niao me liao, I don't know how to face them... My career just plunged into a new low, and I'm scared that I will be retrenched. Or perhaps I will resign. The worst thing about this result is that I may be kicked out of Chemistry Olympiad Team even before attending the sessions!!! Waste my effort in getting into the team. That's what my Chem tutor told me. And I think that is most probably. Sigh...

Physics Olympiad Training will be very tough. There will be 2 sessions of 2 hours each for 6 consecutive weeks. Mr Ho says we need to complete our TYS and complete the S paper TYS. That is so intensive. It just means that we will be devoting most of our time to these academic stuffs, and I would have no time for other things, including writing this blog loh. And with my block test results, I seriously think this change should be made, though I may not become a full-time mugger (Weiyan).

But living with this type of life really defeats the purpose of living. Will studying all day just make you successful? Or maybe it will just promote you to the next level of education where it is another cycle of living? What about your social life in JC? Very difficult to strike a balance, and probably by the time you have finally adapted, it is A Level time, and next its parting time to go to the NS. I seriously don't like this idea of studying whole day, although my mother keeps telling me to work very hard, because she is being influenced by one of her friends whose son is a full time mugger in RJC. Is it the competitive environment in the school that cause this atmosphere? Or is it peer pressure and the whole school? Is it the education system? Or is it our individual perspective? Some people may think that thinking of this problem would be a waste of time, because you can't do anything about it, but I just like to think about this problem. I don't know.

I think it sucks to have a grade A D E E loh. I don't think anybody can do worse than me liao. This result is worse than D E A D loh. Perhaps I should start to plan my future now. I really know what time management is, and i am good at the skills, but I simply hates to follow them!! It makes one's lives so routined, and there are no freedom. Although that may make one improve, but I'm sure there is a better way. Sigh...

Thursday, July 10, 2003

I don't feel like ending my blog in such a low note, but just to quote from Wai Lun:"I cannot get S papers for F Maths and computing already. If I cannot get my S paper for my physics, I might as well drop one subject because I won't have any chances to get any scholarships." Perhaps that is true, but 4 subjects are always more superior than 3 subjects. My sister dropped F Maths after the first year and she is now struggling in engineering now. She says she needs to finish our whole chemistry syllabus in 3 months because she did not take chem in JC. Haiz... Normally I can advise and suggest what people can do, but I seem not to be able to do it on myself. Hmmm.. What's the problem?

I still think I have nothing more to say, just to reflect what my classmates are also feeling now. 8 people failed chemistry, only 3 got As... 5 people failed physics, only 2 got As... PRCs feel very bad also, because they played through their whole holidays and most did badly, especially the boys where some failed everything including Maths C. See? Science students also have their worries because they must constantly practise so as to maintain the standard. But we didn't.

Finally I thought of something I feel quite pleased about, after 10 minutes of thought. I went to play badminton today and found out that I actually improved. At least I am able to play dropshots or smack now. Life is not that bad after all. But if only this applies to my academics that i am able to constantly improve, I won't be here venting my grievances now. Now even the quotes and jokes at myportal.per.sg has been taken down. Where can I find another website like this?

SUCKS LOH!!! Today is my most demoralising day... Feeling totally very sad now. First thing in the morning I received my Physics paper and guessed what? I got an E!!! I passed, but still... The feeling is not good loh. And Mr Ho said something which I don't even know he is niao-ing or comforting me. Quote: "I seriously don't doubt your intelligence, but you are obviously not adapted to the test, or simply not in the test mode. You are not seasoned, and the only way to prepare yourself is to do more questions, regardless from anywhere. Practise, practise and practise more, and you will meet the demands of the paper." WOW!!! So good loh. Buay tahan.

What's more, is that later in the reading period we were literally dozing off, and when the bell rings and we were preparing to leave, my teacher gave out the chem paper... Damn!! It caught us by surprise!!!! And I got another E!!! I got no mood to continue my lessons into 5.05pm this afternoon already loh. All my thoughts go into the promos and my s papers. That sucks. Even in project work nobody feel like discussing. In our group of 5, one got the highest in class, one is me, the other 3 failed, including one lowest in class (22/75). Sad? Very sad. Indeed.

Now what? I am busy calculating my probability for getting my S papers and found out that I need to get 91% and 89% for both physics and chemistry in the promos to get my S papers. beng1 kui4 liao!!! Felt like scolding vulgarities just like my classmates, but the words just can't come out. It is even worse when you see people around you failing one science and getting better than me at the other, at least they have a higher chance of getting an S paper for the better subject. And me? sianz... I want my scholarships so that my family won't have to worry abuot my fees. But now... sigh

Ah... another thing... Maths!!! It is getting tougher and tougher by now! We are still on integration which is still maths c topic and yet it is getting so much complicated!!! Integration by partial fractions... standard forms... substitutions... parts... reduction formula (F Maths)... and the methods of integration are worth at most 5 marks. Mdm Yeo says integration will consist 60% of the questions in section a of the maths c paper... How? WAN DAN LIAO LOH!!! Haiz... I guess I'm not doing very well. Tomorrow I will be getting back my F Maths paper AND I HOPE I WON'T FAIL!!! Seng Ann get E, Wai Lun get E, a lot of people fail... I really very worried now. After this week, I may consider studying really hard for my promos already. And I hope I can make it. Wish me luck.

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

Haiz... It is another boring day, starting with a Physics lecture to discuss the MCQ answers. Then comes the Maths lecture where we don't quite clearly understand what the integration by substitution is about. Mdm Yeo is already going very slow already loh, yet it is so difficult to understand. Moreover this is a Maths C topic!!! I wonder how the single Maths people are going to handle this. Perhaps they can do the integration better since they did better than me in the block test? Junrong don't go and commit suicide again hoh.

Nothing special for today leh, nothing much to talk about, except there is a bridge session in which I nearly fell asleep while playing. Lapse of concentration ah!!! Then yijin is forced to write 2 more essays on Group II and III elements which is very easy loh. Need to hand in only at the end of next week. Such a punishment also got. Dialogue session with the civil servant also very boring, with the A14s dominating the dialogue with the civil servant.

I wonder what will happen to me when I get back my Physics and Chem paper tomorrow. Going to die liao loh. Scared I will be kicked out of the Chem olympiad team. Sigh... Must wish me good luck.

I suddenly lost my passion in studying already... Perhaps I see many people performing well while I am not performing or not recognised by people. But too bad loh, this is just my luck. Didn't treasure much opportunites available around me which are already very few. Think I'm going to bongkua my JC life. Why like that... No achievements at all despite staying Hwa Chong for six months already. Should I really get so impatient? Hmmmmm....

(One minute of silence for Ladan and Laleh...)

Yeah!!! I have started my own blog!!! I must have been affected by those people around me, like opk and jr, as you know a trend always starts when one person starts doing something... haha. Perhaps I would like to take this opportunity to improve my english (...)? Express my views? TALK CRAP!?!?!? Haiz... go on to talk about what I did today, but life is still so sian after the holidays and the block tests. Arghhhhh, can't stand it anymore, and no more enthusiasm in outings as before. Suggest a bit what I can do leh. Yahoo Pool sux because I don't like to make stupid errors. Now nuwex and pua it is your turn to start your blog liao...

My chem and physics are going to fail liao loh... My chem tutor was warning and telling me that I have failed chem mcq, and my physics... don't want to say liao... made so many unforced errors (careless mistakes). And everybody knows there is one guy who got full marks for physics MCQ, none other than Cong Lin... My physics tutor even said he has a chance to score full marks for the paper loh. Now the news is spreading around the whole school...

F Maths is the best part. Imagine Seng Ann the maths shen getting E. Win liao loh. I probably will settle for an O. *weep*... I am aiming for at least pass for every subject... sigh... At least Maths C still got A lah, not bad got consolation, but GP may neutralise it. Some people seems to be very happy about beating me in Maths C, because I only have 68/84, and my friend were there fanning the fire by saying "Li hai loh, beating a olympiad team or whatever team not. I don't know I can create so many happiness one leh (Just joking)

Heard from nuwex that Yi Jin got scolded by pang for not completing assignment. Too much commitment liao lah. But I suck even more loh, block tests cannot make it, how to get S Paper next year. Really worried. Anyway must congratulate Weiyan and Chorming from 79 that they have changed their chem tutor. Now I got nobody to share my thoughts on my chem tutor anymore. I don't even if it is good for them or not. Hope they can improve tremendously under the new guidance. Haha. So crappy.

Sianz... Physics Lecture tomorrow and now going on third and most difficult part of integration. BUAY TAHAN AH!!! Haven't done a lot of tutorials. Should have joined TAHAN like jr like that.

Getting out of the topic of school, must plan 4N class chalet. Our organising coordinator nuwex very worried that we will have limited manpower and "some one-nail rebel-photocopying from some of our classmates, oil-chess those who have bad too-prick and suddenly flute-chong because of good coffee-without-milk-and-sugar-platform become-chicken and good become-old in JC." (If you don't understand what this means you can come and look for me at school.) Mai siao siao loh. Later yi4 jue2 bu2 zhen4 then BONG PUA AH LEH KE XI4 then you know. Set at costa sands pasir ris, must come by hook or by crook ok? Must support support.

Crap finish liao, nothing to do except tutorials liao. Very tired. Tomorrow then continue to blog. Must tag hoh.